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Flight was a nightmare for a big clostrophobic guy like me. Space was at a premium. I was in a row with a very skinny French only speaking girl and her BIG BURLY French only speaking Dad. I had window. Guess who sat next to me? Yup. They put BIG BURLY Dad in the middle seat. And thus began one of the greatest matches in center console armrest wrestling history ever. We were tit for tat. Both focused. Watching for any opportunity to take control. Waiting….waiting for the enemy to slip up and scratch his nose or drop his guard. It went on like this for hours. I would like to think that I won that match but I too was struggling to keep my focus. The space was soooo tight. It was like being in a coffin for seven hours. As I said before, I had the window seat so I was trapped almost beyond the minds comprehension. I couldn’t communicate with anyone as I don’t speak French. Like 90 degrees in there too and NO air jets overhead either. WTH!? That’s what I said! Could not stand up to stretch at all either. Just a hot sweaty mess by the window in Row 32A. Then all hell broke loose. I proceeded to get a leg cramp in the right thigh. Yeah…You Got The Picture. It was like watching a bucking bull come out of the chute and I had already ditched my rider. I was the entertainment for the people around me…and our row had just received dinner service. Yup. Oh Yeah…quite a scene and noone understanding english either. AYE…Don’t mess with the center console armrest our there is gonna be trouble! Thank God I eventually was able to explain to my french only speaking row mates and stewardess …in broken French and jerky mannerisms have you…that I needed some salt for a leg cramp and they finally brought me some. With the salt in me and the leg cramp settled down I eventually passed out for like 3 hours giving up all efforts to control my area and to maintain control of the center armrest. Thank You God for having mercy on me.
I awoke to a “freeze out” being imposed on everyone by Air France. It seems THEY DO have AC onboard and that’s how they wake everyone up for the landing prep. 30 below and all lights on…like trying to look directly at the sun while sitting on a glacier. After seven hours in my isolation chamber I was finally freed. I headed directly to the washroom to take care of overdue business, to splash cold water on my face and pull myself together. I had survived bridging the continental divide.
After an hour in customs trying to get my passport stamped and receiving entry into France I felt kind of punchy. I had beaten the odds and survived Row 32 Window Seat A, why not roll the dice again and call UBER for a ride to the hotel? You see, the Cabi/Taxi guys in Paris have been rioting and burning Uber Cars over the last 24 hours preceeding my arrival. What The Hell…let’s go for it. I am happy to report my Uber Car made it without incident…but it seemed we were definitely trying to hurry our exit from the airport. It was kind of like being abducted…as seen on TV.
The rest of the day was just as strange and filled with many laughs as you will see from our pictures and videos below.
Overall, I am very happy to have finally caught up with Tanner and we are having a grand time and many laughs here in Paris. One Side Note- The sun doesn’t fully set until 11PM in Paris it seems. (See Video). Tanner says it rises at 4AM too. Uh Oh.
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